“Your hatred and apathy towards semo could be why you are still single.”

Hello friend,

I am Erioluwa Boluwatife Adeyinka and most people call me EBA, I consider myself to be a very funny young man with a lot of stories. I think my most noticeable trait is that I act like am 30+. I hate noodles, I am of the opinion that noodles is ghetto and should only be given to people who are in military detention. I am not a great writer but on this hill of writing I am willing to die on.

In the history of swallows, semo is one of the swallows that has suffered the greatest humiliation, abuse and assault by angry UARians. I think semo is underrated, I believe strongly in the potentials that swallow carries and the exploit it can make in the global space.

Before I continue, I would like give us a brief history about the unsung hero called Semolina aka semo. Semolina comes from the latin word “similar”which means flour. It is obtained from durum wheat and is believed to have originated in Central Europe and near East around 7000 BC.

As you can see, semo is an international food but because you are not open to exploring history and cultures you don’t like semo, how will you find the love of your life if you are not open minded to cultures and history?

Semo is white in colour and you don’t like it??!!!!! I am scared about your taste because if you don’t like that beautiful colour then you might need to check yourself because it might be the reason you are still single.

Semo has fought through thick and thin to stay relevant, even Semo is older than Jesus Christ but it clearly shows you don’t have respect for your elders. Now look at yourself, how will you do matching Pyjamas with somebody’s child in December. No “merry Christmas from me and mine”, No “All I want for Christmas is you”, nothing at all. Just you, sleeping on your bed, walking around the house without a slippers and speaking ill of semo and you think you will not be single. LMAOO, YOU CAN’T ESCAPE IT!

Anyhoo, my advice for you before it is too late is that you change your ways and start eating semo. Don’t be rebellious, respect your elders and enjoy the blessings that comes with it.

You are forgiven, go and sin no more.

I wrote this during my lunch break and all views are mine.